| Throughout the years of my career as a | | | | analogous to threat of nuclear warfare. |
| psychologist, I have come to understand fear to | | | | Running late for a meeting is not terrible. |
| be a negative emotion from which most other | | | | Emotionally, one does not necessarily know the |
| negative emotions originate. Fear is essentially | | | | difference between truth and exaggeration. If the |
| anxiety. Fear often underlies anger, similar to the | | | | perception is terror, the reaction is fear. |
| proverbial cat with its back up against the wall. | | | | Questioning self-talk, therefore, is vital since |
| The cat lashes out in anger, because it is afraid of | | | | thoughts affect how one feels, while feelings |
| being attacked. Anger turned inward is often | | | | affect how one acts. In this example, the tardy |
| referred to as depression. And, when one feels | | | | person can remind his or her self that it is his or |
| guilty, it is typically an indication that one is either | | | | her choice to arrive on time. It is important to |
| afraid of having done something wrong or is | | | | affirm the fact that if the meeting starts late, he |
| afraid of being punished. Managing fears, | | | | or she would actually be early. Even if he or she |
| therefore, can also help to ease a variety of | | | | were late, it would be alright, since it is only a |
| negative emotions. | | | | choice to arrive on-time. Although the choice is for |
| Nonetheless, fear can be legitimate reaction to the | | | | responsible reasons, it still remains a choice. As |
| situation. It is important to distinguish illegitimate | | | | the feelings associated with this new perspective |
| and legitimate fears. The physiological and | | | | resonate, the effect is a calmer disposition that |
| emotional reaction to real danger (i.e. - the "fight | | | | affords this person to depart sooner, without |
| or flight response') helps one to protect oneself. | | | | literally tripping over his or her feet. |
| The rapid heartbeat, rapid breathing, and muscle | | | | Some of my patients have questioned me, |
| tension assists in allowing oxygen and nutrients to | | | | regarding how feelings (and not thoughts) primarily |
| prepare the body for protective fighting or fleeing. | | | | dictate one's actions and behaviors. In this regard, |
| Overactive fear can be an interfering and | | | | I like to share the following analogy. Most people |
| potentially unhealthy reaction to a perceived | | | | probably have brand name toothpaste or soap in |
| danger that is not real. | | | | their bathroom. Although they intellectually know |
| In situations that do not merit the intensity of the | | | | that generic toothpaste is basically the same as |
| debilitating fear reaction, the level of the fear | | | | (and less expensive than) brand name, they pay |
| could also originate from a disturbing memory that | | | | more for the brand name, because they feel that |
| has been resurrected by the current environment. | | | | it will provide them with "fresher breath and |
| The person may be reacting more to the anxiety | | | | whiter teeth." The behavior, within this example, is |
| surrounding the upsetting memory than the | | | | to pay more for something that is basically the |
| current situation. Illegitimate fear could stem from | | | | same as the cheaper brand. In essence, feelings |
| a misperception of the current situation. | | | | trumped thought. |
| Illegitimate fear can also originate from a | | | | In essence, thoughts affect feelings. Feelings |
| biochemical imbalance, wherein psychotropic | | | | affect behavior. Behavior affects one's future |
| medication could be a corrective intervention. | | | | experiences. Understanding the interplay between |
| Fear and anxiety can be exacerbated by the | | | | one's thoughts and feelings can afford one the |
| words we use. "Should", "Have to", and "Must" are | | | | opportunity to better manage one's feelings, |
| particular culprits. For example, if someone is | | | | behaviors and resultant experiences. No one is |
| running late for an important meeting, he or she | | | | suggesting to look at oneself, others, and the |
| may complicate the tardiness by suggesting that | | | | world with "rose colored glasses." It is suggested |
| "I have to get there on time." The "have to" | | | | that one attempt to look at oneself, others, and |
| insinuates that if he or she is late that it would be | | | | the world in the most balanced, positive, and |
| "terrible." The word terrible is emotionally | | | | accurate manner possible. |