Let Me Be King For Just One Year

Let's face it, my friends. The Federal GovernmentLift all bans on domestic oil exploration.o Lift all
in its present form is irretrievably broken. Nobans on nuclear power plant construction.o Shrink
tinkering, no new President, no new laws will fixSupreme Court to three Justices who serve at
the Federal Government of the United States ofmy pleasure. Who needs nine old duffers arguing
America. If the USA wants to avoid mass stateamongst themselves? Besides, they have no
secessions, a radical change must be embraced.power to enforce any judicial decision. The power
We need to go in a new direction. Actually, to beis all mine.o Give back all Federal property to the
more accurate, in an old direction.states. Let them decide what to do with it.o
Absolute Monarchy.Cancel all treaties with other nations. Negotiate
Think about it. A King is one guy. He only hasnew treaties if I think we need them...and if I
about 18 hours each day to do kingly stuff. So,have time. A King's gotta sleep, you know.o
he can't meddle in very much simply because heDissolve the Federal Reserve.o Cancel all Federal
doesn't have the time. Everyone in America wouldgun laws and regulations. Once again, it's up to the
be a lot freer with a King on the throne.states.o Get rid of all intelligence agencies except
So, I nominate myself, Russell D. Longcore, as theCIA. Rename it the King's Intelligence Agency.
new King of the United States of America.Then figure out what kinds of "intel" we really
I don't want to be King forever. I'll take the jobneed if we're minding our own business. The KIA
on a one year basis. I want complete,may become just me and about six other guys,
unchallengeable, absolute power for one year.plus a couple secretaries in case we need to write
Then, at the end of that year, the states cansomething down or need coffee and a bagel.o
have an election to see if I get my job forPlace Federal money on the gold and silver
another year. And on it will go until I don't want tostandard. Only issue gold and silver coins and
be King any more, or get voted out of office, orpaper money equal to our national precious metal
get assassinated by an unemployed lobbyist.holdings. Allow the price of gold and silver to be
As the first Candidate for US King, here is what Idetermined by the free market. No Federal price
pledge to do in my year. I have written this list incontrol.o No subsidies for anything. No price
no particular order of importance, only as thesupports for anything.o Cancel all Federal debt.
ideas came into my mind:o Set the salary of theThe Federal Government is bankrupt. If debtors
King at $100 million per year. That's still less thanwant to get paid, tell them to take it up with the
some corporate executives make.o End theguys I just fired. We pay our bills out of income,
personal income tax: On my first day as King,not borrowing from the world.o We will trade with
income taxes are gone.o Dissolve Congress: Whoeverybody around the world who wants to trade
needs Congress when I'm King? Rex Lex and allwith us, and stop meddling in their affairs.o By the
that.o Tell all the States that they are on theirway, Federal income will come from tariffs and a
own for operations, including the coining of money10% national sales tax. If God can get by on 10%
and taking care of the roads.o Dissolve Allso can the King.o Dissolve the FDIC. If you put
Cabinet-Level Departments except State,your money in a bank, you assume all the risk for
Treasury, Defense & Interior: Then, I'll shrinkwhat happens to it. Don't pick bad banks. End of
those remaining Departments to about one-tenthdiscussion.o Dissolve the DEA. End the "War on
their size, maybe less. I promise they won't haveDrugs." Make all recreational drugs legal.o Give
much to do.o Dissolve the Army: I'll close theHawaii back to Hawaiians if they want it.o Enforce
Pentagon and sell the building or raze it. We'll goour border with Mexico with shoot-to-kill-on-sight
back to using state militias just in case Canadaorders.o Completely stop immigration for one
invades us. I'll close West Point, too.o Shrink theyear while we figure out how to do it.o End all
Air Force, Navy and Marine Corps to aboutFederal holidays. If you want a holiday, take one
50,000 members each: If we're only protectingon your own.o Anything else that comes up, I'll
our own borders, we don't need all that hardwarefigure it out later.
and manpower.o Mothball 50% of all military shipsOK, Americans. Here I am, ready to be your
and aircraft just for a start.o Order thebenevolent Monarch. Just tell me what day you
dismantling of 90% of our nuclear missilewant me to move in at the White House. I'm
inventory.o Close 75% of domestic military basesgoing to need a throne, though. Are there any
and give the properties back to each state.oreally big chairs in the White House? If not, I have
Close all foreign military bases, apologize to eachleather chair with an ottoman here at home that I
nation, give back the property to the variouscan bring with me. A throne could be really
nations, bring all troops home.o NASA is gone. Ifexpensive.
you want to go into space, pay for it yourself.o