"Why Do They Hate Us?

That was the question on the lips of all AmericansEmperor`s country would be the first nation to
when Uncle Sam's country saw "hell fire" ontake man to Mars. When Uncle Sam peeped
September 11, 2001. Uncle Sam was surprisedacross to Russia's neighbor, Chechnya and asks if
beyond measure because he thinks that hishe was welcome, they pointedly said no. Because
country has done so much for the world. HeAmerica turned a blind eye as Russia pounded
counts American's contribution on his fingers:away at separatists in Chechnya. Who is then
champion of free speech, and fundamental humanAmerica's friend? Uncle Sam wondered.
rights, exporter of democracy, giver of food andHe goes to the Middle East to find out why they
financial aids, and this new role—fighter ofhate America. And his ears were full. He was told
terrorists—to make the world a safe placehow Israel gunned down the Palestians in their
to live. So, why do they hate us? Asks Unclethousands and dug a trench around their beloved
Sam.Yasser Arafat, while Uncle Sam looked away. And
And in order to find out the answer to thisnow America has sworn to bomb Iraq and
troubling question, he goes to sample people'snegotiate with North Korea, even when the
opinion on America. And the answers he getsformer says that they do not have dangerous
surprise him.weapons, while the latter is daring to strike
In Africa, he was told that he has not evenAmerica! (the definition of double standards). And
started. The Africans told him that the foodto think that there are many nations possessing
grains he was shipping to them were poisonous.nuclear weapons, and even threatening to use
They even said that the help is politicallythem against each other. (Ask India and Pakistan)
motivated, for the food was sent to the.And no one is talking of disarming them. (In fact
countries of dictators who are chasing whitethe Arabs say that the UN should disarm
farmers all over the place. So they said UncleAmerica).
Sam was only trying to demonize these heads ofUncle Sam than goes to Europe to meet his
state, while playing the Santa Claus. When hetraditional friends. But it was like ALICE IN
reminded them about the money that AmericaWONDERLAND. Because even these reject him.
has invested in fighting diseases in Africa, he wasFor France and Germany (even Germany) say
booed. For they say that it was like a drop in thethat Uncle Sam is flaunting himself all over the
ocean, saying that the continent is used forplace, and that they would not allow him to lord
experimenting dangerous AIDS vaccines. Even theover them. Hearing this, Uncle Sam ran a great
economic package, called the African Growth andrun to the Americas, his territory.
Opportunity Act, was dubbed a selfish initiativeNow, when he asked to know if his neighbors
that would benefit only the Americans.love him, they answered in the negative. They
So, Uncle Sam left the African continent. Not thatsay that America's financial aid is selfish because it
he was annoyed. But he felt that theseis using it to perpetuate its political and economic
"uneducated" Africans didn't understand things. Orinterests. After all, Uncle Sam sees all the
they were ungrateful.dictators in South America and does nothing. They
His next stop was South East Asia. But he wassaid that America is fighting the drug war in Latin
similarly surprised to learn that these Asians wereAmerica in order to provide safe haven for Uncle
saying that Uncle Sam was not paying closeSam.
attention to the political development of theseSo, what would Uncle Sam do to please the
lands. The Philipians didn't even like his full controlworld? Solve the world's political, economic, and
of the war against the fundamentalists in theirsocial problems. Listen to the world. And never do
country. He couldn't understand these Asians.a thing that would make the world to march
Perhaps, they didn't want another Vietnam.against America.
Uncle Sam therefore, heads to Russia in hisUncle Sam sat down and meditated, at the end
search to the question: Why do they hate us? Butof his great quest on why they hate us, and
the Russians were even more resentful. Becausewondered how he would be able to solve the
they blame him for the break-up of the formerworld's multifaceted problems. And for inspiration,
Soviet Union saying that America tricked Mikailhe remembers the Star-Spangled Banner, and the
Gorbachev then president, to introduce glassnotsong: God bless America. And he rose to his feet
and perestroika, which eventually led to the fall ofand smiled, determined to banish September 11's.
the super power. The Russians were particularlyMay God Bless America!
unhappy that Uncle Sam is now the only world'sARTHUR ZULU, the Most Controversial Writer in
super power. And they wished that China wouldthe World, is the author of the best-selling book
challenge America. After all, very soon, theHOW TO WRITE A BEST-SELLER.