| True story. I'm almost embarrassed to say. But | | | | much - even though I'm a very good driver. He |
| hey, if you can laugh as much as we do over it, | | | | says he's just not used to being a passenger. I |
| then it's all worth the short-lived humiliation and | | | | blame it on his goatee in his eyes. |
| subsequent new perspective on life. | | | | At first we got a lot of honks from passing |
| My fiancee is a life-long, old-school biker; our | | | | vehicles; then a ton of thumbs-up and peace signs |
| present Harley-Davidson motorcycle is a rather | | | | accompanied by vocal approvals. |
| hot item, his 29th, so far. He's also a former | | | | I thought maybe it was because his beanie had a |
| professional bodybuilder - and now a mere, frail | | | | sticker that said "HELL ON WHEELS" - and it could |
| 245 lbs compared to his majestic 275 lbs during | | | | be more easily read from where he was sitting; |
| his competition days. | | | | raised up a little on the 'Queen seat'. |
| Poor guy, but it was a freak accident. A | | | | Soon plenty of amused tourists tried to capture |
| commercial double-garage door failed, | | | | our photo using their handy cellphone cameras, as |
| (after our ride together) and came down on his | | | | we rumbled past them in the downtown core, at |
| neck while parking his Harley. Go figure. If I could | | | | the foot pace of a geranium. |
| have captured that scene on video, I would have | | | | Soon I hit a red light, right in front of a patio bar |
| - but he dropped me off at home a mere 10 | | | | packed with visiting sailors. My manly-man fiancee |
| minutes before it happened. | | | | realized there was no escaping this unwanted |
| Needless to say, our prized hot item (aka: purple | | | | limelight. He threw his fist in the air and hollered, |
| monster) was gauged and damaged under the | | | | "I'm the Biggest bitch in Victoriaaaaahhhh!", to |
| garage door, but not as badly as my fiancee's | | | | which the crowd arose with beers in the air, and |
| newly broken neck. Thing is, he didn't know it at | | | | reciprocated something that sounded like amused |
| the time. Nor for several months afterwards, as | | | | approval. Again, a barrage of camera flashes hit |
| his musculature masked the condition. | | | | us. |
| Where's the humor in all this ? | | | | At that point I figured we could make money |
| OK. Imagine if you will a rather average chick with | | | | online, or Ebay at least, with this kind of paparazzi |
| braids and a beanie, commandering a | | | | -or morally criminal- photo opp exposing this |
| monster-macho, obnoxiously ear-splitting, custom | | | | uber-masculine Harley-paradox. |
| chopper... and a 250lb "Ol' Skool" Biker with a 16" | | | | Like a Sasquatch sighting. |
| goatee wafting in the wind - from the bitch seat. | | | | And Tourist Season is here again. Now what |
| NOT NORMAL, by any prospective viewer. | | | | about those Ebay auction thingies...? |
| His screaming out loud in the corners didn't help | | | | B-E-A-Utiful. |