| There once lived a man so ingenious, so dashing, | | | | office "gold." Not in America at least. Beating up |
| so incredibly awe inspiring that he disappeared off | | | | the British was eventually perfected for American |
| the face of the earth altogether. He made a run | | | | audiences by fellow Australian Mel Gibson |
| for Hollywood fifteen years ago and his name | | | | (Braveheart and The Patriot). Yahoo Serious was |
| was Yahoo Serious. His name recently came up in | | | | whooping British ass before it was cool. . The |
| friendly conversation and the response was: | | | | official Yahoo Serious website claims, "It [Reckless |
| Yahoo Who? I was beside myself. I have thrown | | | | Kelly] was the most popular film at the Australian |
| together a little work up on the man in an effort | | | | box office on its release during Easter 1993." To |
| to spread the word. With any luck, you will check | | | | be fair its sole competition in the Australian box |
| him out and enjoy what dozens have fans have | | | | office that year consisted of Weekend at Bernie's |
| been enjoying for years. | | | | II and the animated film Bébé's Kids. |
| Yahoo dwelled from a far away mysterious and | | | | Australians for one reason or another can't get |
| magical land. Lets call it-Australia. No one knows | | | | enough of little rambunctious children. As a side |
| very much about Australia aside from their | | | | note, Bébé's Kids was recently made |
| affinity for fighting crocodiles and their hefty past | | | | into a feature film starring Ice Cube entitled Are |
| criminal record. After being expelled from art | | | | We There Yet. It currently holds the Australian |
| school for "trying to expand too many minds," he | | | | box office record. Reckless Kelly, however, failed |
| began using his artistic talents to create his own | | | | internationally despite Serious' trademark physical |
| traveling brand of absurdist comedy. His early | | | | antics. |
| shows in 1980s were characterized as "similar to | | | | Reckless Kelly's crapbomb at the box office sent |
| watching someone have a repeated full blown | | | | Serious into seclusion for seven years until he |
| seizure." | | | | emerged with his third and final picture, Mr. |
| While this was occurring down under, there was | | | | Accident (2000). A smart little ditty about the |
| what scientists call a "level five Australian Craze" | | | | most accident prone man in the world....the world I |
| back in the States. Much like the Latin craze of | | | | say! This also proved to be a time in which |
| recent years, Americans couldn't get enough of | | | | Crocodile Dundee was starring in his latest |
| those croc wrestlers. The scene was ripe for | | | | escapade in Los Angeles. Could this be the |
| Serious, with acts like Men at Work and Foster's | | | | Australian comeback that everyone was waiting |
| beer enjoying immense questionable success. | | | | for? Honestly, no not at all. The critics weren't |
| Warner Brothers who were a tad drunk off their | | | | very kind this time around stating, "Yahoo Serious |
| success of Crocodile Dundee II approved a deal | | | | seems to most resemble Carrot Top -- only |
| for Yahoo Serious to write, star, and direct in his | | | | without the wit" and "Yahoo Serious is back. So is |
| first film. He is the first Australian to actually do | | | | that acidic bile taste at the back of your throat." |
| that in a major motion picture, which paved the | | | | This further proves the fact that Australians will |
| road for hack Mel Gibson's first crusade against | | | | never be popular again. Sorry. |
| the British in Braveheart (1995). Yahoo did it first! | | | | So where does a misunderstood genius go when |
| His first movie came to him while he was | | | | no one will have him? To court! Serious sued |
| contemplating the effect of nuclear magnetic | | | | Yahoo Inc. for infringing upon his good name. |
| resonance on electric guitars. One year later, | | | | Yahoo Inc. owns a little hole in the wall website |
| Young Einstein (1989) was born. Yahoo | | | | known as Yahoo.com, if you weren't aware. He |
| portrayed...well a young Einstein during his | | | | contended that his international fame was more |
| formative years. Yahoo portrays a different side | | | | associated with the word "Yahoo" then their |
| of the German physicist. One that is more inclined | | | | petty insignificant website. He was beaten |
| to solve the mysteries of flat beer than the | | | | unmercifully in court and now owes royalties to |
| universe. Somewhere along the way he discovers | | | | Yahoo Inc. if he attempts to make any money |
| relativity and Rock n' Roll, much to the chagrin of | | | | off of his good name in the future. Not to be |
| various "squares". Yahoo's equation of beer and | | | | discouraged, Yahoo immediately issued another |
| Rock n' Roll easily equaled him a solid box office | | | | lawsuit against one-time platinum selling artist |
| draw earning such accolades as, "one of the | | | | Jermaine Jackson for the rights to the phrase, |
| least-funny pieces of tomfoolery ever made." | | | | "Lets Get Serious." After a lengthy court battle it |
| Serious had also used the movie to test a | | | | was ruled for Serious to remain 1,000 feet away |
| personal theory of his involving the extraordinary | | | | from Mr. Jackson's house at all times. It was then |
| disarming capabilities of a D power chord on a | | | | and only then that Yahoo....disappeared. |
| nuclear bomb. While the movie supports his claims, | | | | While neither a major success in the movies or |
| he is still under investigation by physicists around | | | | the courtroom, Yahoo has earned a place in many |
| the globe. | | | | people's hearts. He was a pioneer and for that he |
| The mass success of Young Einstein guaranteed | | | | was ran out of Hollywood. He paved the road for |
| Serious another movie. Yahoo also had the | | | | your precious Orlando Blooms, Hugh Jackmans, |
| privilege of joining the ranks of Ayatollah | | | | and yes your beloved Jesus infatuated Mel |
| Khomeini, Anne Frank, and V.I. Lenin when he was | | | | Gibsons. Currently you may purchase all three of |
| featured on Time Magazine in 1989. Serious gave | | | | Yahoo Serious's movies in a DVD-box set for one |
| himself five years to produce a sequel, banking | | | | million yen or three American dollars at your local |
| that his Hollywood fame would be everlasting. | | | | video store. So if you are unaware of this man's |
| Reckless Kelly (1993) his follow-up proved to be | | | | work, do yourself a favor and check it out. The |
| allergic to box office success. Apparently, an | | | | Yahoo Serious Street Team is always looking for |
| Australian Robin Hood on a motorcycle wreaking | | | | new members. With enough support, Yahoo may |
| havoc on the British doesn't in fact equal box | | | | one day rise again. |